Starbucks Coffee Cup, 16 oz., Slightly Used
Posted by Sam at 10:24 PM | tags: life, coffee

We've all heard the timeless adage, "One man's trash is another man's treasure." Ahh... some powerful words to live by... especially on bulk garbage day. But surprisingly, I've never thought to harness the resplendent potential of ebay to hock my own trash. Wait a minute... Isn't that the whole point of ebay: To hock one's trash? Anyway, it has been brought to my attention that some clever individual has decided to put their valuable Starbucks cup bundle up for auction. It has provided them with "much joy" as I'm sure it will for the lucky winner. And, if I wasn't currently rockin' the "poor college student" lifestyle, you know I'd bid! Oh man... that cup would be perfect for my collection... of trash... that I affectionately refer to as my apartment.

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The Dead of Winter
Posted by Sam at 4:31 PM | tags: life

It's January 30th... the dead of winter... somewhere in New England... and I hiked a mountain in a t-shirt today. WTF?

I don't care what the president says, global warming is in full motherfriggin' effect.

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Poof!
Posted by Sam at 4:15 PM | tags: life

Semester two has officially begun. See you in hell, social life!

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D D Arghhh*
Posted by Sam at 2:08 PM | tags: life

I found it really interesting that I happened to read the following two articles on the same day:

From Yahoo! News "West Virginia, which has one of the nation's worst obesity problems, is expanding a project that uses a video game to boost students' physical activity. All of the state's 157 middle schools are expecting to get the video game "Dance Dance Revolution," and officials hope to put it in all 753 public schools within three years..." Link

and

From OHGIZMO "You know that lifting a foot would be so much of an effort that you might pop a vein, or get another sport related injury. You can't have that, but how are you to play Dance Dance Revolution? Fear not, lazy friend. Tesco's got you covered, with these pair of £13.00 palmtop controllers for PS1 and PS2 versions of the popular game. Let your fingers do the dancing..." Link

To the students of West Virginia, I have the following to say:

"There's always a shortcut, boys and girls. You just have to know what to look for. "

and

"Don't let the man fool you into thinking fitness is fun. Down with the man!"

* Title has little to do with content.

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Propensity, Mac Tips, and an Obscure Reference
Posted by Sam at 5:34 PM | tags: life, apple

I woke up this morning muttering the word propensity. I don't know why. In fact, at that point I only had a vague understanding of the word's definition. But, like any good Mac user, I queried the OS X dictionary and found the entry for propensity (as an aside, specific to my Mac using readers (you guys are my favorite... by the way), you can hover your cursor over any word in any cocoa application and press control + command + d to produce a little pop-up window with the word's definition and, by means of another click, the word's thesaurus entry. Are you using Safari? Give it a try on any word in this post. It's quite handy. Oh... and check this out: type the first few characters of a word (again, cocoa apps only... try something like TextEdit) and then press the escape key. Up pops a scrollable list of all the words in the Mac OS X dictionary that begin with those characters. Definitely a godsend for those of us who can hardly spell their own names. Sm? Sma? Steve? Wait... who am I again?).

The word, propensity, stuck with me all throughout this morning's events... which included, but was not limited to: milling around the house, partaking in a short hike, lunch, tormenting my housemate... Finally, I asked Carrie (my housemate) to define the word. Shortly afterward, I realized that she simply can't be trusted (Carrie, you know I love you... I just can't trust you). That's when I consulted the Mac OS dictionary. Its entry reads: an inclination or natural tendency to behave in a particular way. (Dammit Carrie! I hate it when you're right!)

Hmm... so what does this mean? It's got to be significant in some way... right? I have a propensity to believe that it's significant. The propensiocity of my beliefs are such that this occurrence must be significant. I have a propensity to make up my own word derivatives out of words that I have, at best, a rough understanding of. This is quite a propensidicament.

Anyway, as a Magic: The Gathering dork* summons a 5/5 Shivan Dragon into play, I summon the collective strength of the blogosphere to help me out with this one. I've tapped my mana, now it's up to you. So what's the deal with the word propensity? Why has it been following me around all day? Help!

* There was a time, many years ago, when I would have considered myself to be a Magic: The Gatering dork. So, before anyone chastises me for calling Magic: The Gathering players, dorks, bear in mind that I was their self-proclaimed king... and the inhabitants of my kingdom and I were, beyond a shadow of a doubt, dorks. We were the dorkliest dorks that ever dorked. And in 1995, when I was finally booted out of my kingdom (for having a girlfriend, I think), the dorkiocity of my people was stronger than ever. So, I can only assume that dorkliness still reigns supreme in the Magic: The Gathering kingdom. And there you have it.

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Grease-Laden Superstar
Posted by Sam at 4:13 AM | tags: life

If you've ever fallen victim to the sweet siren's song of Denny's Moons Over My Hammy at 3 a.m., you should know how I am feeling now, at 4 a.m.

Ill. So very ill.

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Chuck Norris... Is there anything he can't do?
Posted by Sam at 7:41 PM | tags: life

Yeah, I know this has been digged, and most likeley boinged, and quite possibly slashdotted too. But I had to share it with the two or three remaining internet users who haven't read it yet. Prepare yourself (if you can) to learn everything you've ever wanted to know about Chuck Norris... but were afraid he'd roundhouse kick you in the face if you asked. Prepare yourself for CHUCK NORRIS FACTS.

Some of my favs include:

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio.

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Clay For Dinner, Clay For Lunch...
Posted by Sam at 12:52 PM | tags: life

There's clay on my pants, clay in my beard, clay under my fingernails. There's clay everywhere.

I just had my first pottery class since my last semester as an undergrad. I had to relearn how to throw pots on the wheel. I had to remember how to center the clay (that's the hardest part)... and no, it's not "just like riding a bicycle." It was awesome though. And messy. And, as much a I wanted it to be, it was nothing like that scene in the movie Ghost with Whoppi, Swayze, and Demi.

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Happy Birthday Jason Voorhees!
Posted by Sam at 4:16 PM | tags: dark, life

Today is a very special day. In fact, it's so special that it only comes around every once in a while. Today, Friday the 13th, is a day of celebration for cynics and malcontents alike. So, in commemoration of today's misery, I'd like to wish all of my dear readers an ill-fated day of sour luck and melancholic ennui. You might consider staying within the familiar walls of your own house... although I've read that most accidents happen at home. Well then, I guess we're doomed. We're all doomed!

Update: Hot damn! It's also a full moon tonight! This is like every every goth kid's day in the sun... er, day in the darkness... whatever. I'm half expecting to hear Ozzy knocking at the door... or barking at the moon... whatever.

"Years spent in torment
Buried in a nameless grave
Now he has risen
Miracles would have to save
Those that the beast is looking for
Listen in awe and you'll hear him

Bark at the moon
Hey yeah, bark at the moon"

Ozzy Osbourne - Bark at the Moon

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Yesterday In Seattle
Posted by Sam at 4:58 PM | tags: coffee, life

Update: To quote my little sister: "How come 'li'l sis' doesn't link to a picture of me!?" Well... okay. It does now!

(I started writing this post like two or three days ago... but alas, I just now had time to finish it up. Ah well, what can you do?)

Yesterday in Seattle (did I mention that I'm in Seattle? I'm visiting my li'l sis at her new pacific northwestern digs), I actually found the very first Starbucks. The grand-daddy. The demon-seed. The one who's to blame. The one who's to thank? Anyway, I found Starbucks numero uno. And it was disappointing.

It's just that the very first Starbucks wasn't at all what I expected it to be. There was no history, no coffee-fueled robot in a top hat dispensing Starbucks factoids (yeah...I don't know why I expected that one), no wi-fi, and there weren't even any places to sit. It was just your run-o-the-mill coffee shop. And not even a nice one. Seriously. I've seen nicer coffee shops attached to gas stations.

Still, I bought a cup of coffee there... just for the experience, I guess. It tasted like Starbucks coffee. So, I suppose they get a point for consistency. But man-alive... What a disappointment!

Well anyway, despite this one resounding disappointment, Seattle is kicking ass! Rain! Coffee! Dispensers of caffeinated delights everywhere... and consequently, I haven't slept in days... of course, it has nothing to do with my sister's holy terror of a terrier (tee hee hee!).

Next up: The saga of the Seattle Sci-Fi Museum... including harrowing tales of adventure such as, "What do you mean I can't take photos in here!?" and "What do you mean I'm causing a scene!?" and of course, the dramatic conclusion, "What do you mean I have to leave and I'm not allowed back... ever!?"

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iDrool
Posted by Sam at 11:20 PM | tags: apple, life

I'm beginning to feel dehydrated from all of the drooling that I've been doing. No, not from the alcohol induced brain damage (the incessant drinking can't be helping the situation though). I've been drooling over the not-yet-available MacBook. Holy moly... that 'Book is slick! And, I don't care what the heck it's called. I just want need one. Badly. Actually, I need the 12" version that will inevitably be released (hopefully soon). Or, perhaps the 13" widescreen version that I've been hearing talk of.

Other things of interest are the introduction of the iWeb application into the iLife suite. That should be interesting. Also the iPod remote/FM tuner thingy, and the Intel iMac, and... you know what? I don't give a donkey's liver about any of that. This MacWorld belongs to the Macbook!

Well, here's to an awesome MacWorld! L'Chaim! It's too bad that unforeseen events left me sans internet during the Keynote. I'll be fine (thanks for your concern)... though internet access will remain dodgy for the next week or so. Anyway, I'm off. I have to go fabricate some kind of a drool catching contraption. I'm thinking duct tape and a plastic cup. Although, at the rate that I'm drooling, perhaps a bucket is more appropriate. Hmmm... if I were to affix a Brita filtration device instead of the cup, I could reuse the drool... ugh, nevermind.

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One More Thing...
Posted by Sam at 10:32 PM | tags: life

Oh... I guess I should mention that I'm traveling to Seattle. That might make the last few posts (and the ones that will inevitably follow) a bit more comprehensible. While I'm here, I should also mention that during my travels, the times that posts are actually written, and the time I will actually be able to post them, will be very different. And I always seem to schedule my travels for the most inconvenient times of the year... what with the MacWorld keynote happening tomorrow!!!

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Heading For an Inevitably Violent End
Posted by Sam at 9:41 PM | tags: life

It's interesting that commercial airplanes supply so much safety stuff for survival in water. "Your seat cushion can be used as a floatation device." "A life vest can be found under your seat." "In the event of an emergency, this door explodes into a really fun looking slide! But wait, there's more. The slide detaches and can be used as a life raft!" Kinda makes you hope for a catastrophe, doesn't it? I mean, those escape slides look more fun than your average carnival ride... and just about as safe too.

I think that I'd trade in all of that superfluous water survival crunk for a measly parachute. Do planes really crash in water that often... more so than on land? If a plane bursts into flames thousands of feet in the air and is spiraling towards the earth's surface, heading for an inevitably violent end, what're the chances of landing safely... regardless of whether the plane lands on water or land? I mean really... gimme a parachute and I'll be on my way, thank you very much.

These are the things I think about while flying. I also think about how much I have to pee, and the amount of effort it's going to require to rouse the slumbering elderly couple barricading me into my window seat... against the metal walls of this parachute-less, airborne, behemoth of a deathtrap. Gosh... I love flying!

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I Deserve This Beer
Posted by Sam at 9:27 PM | tags: life

After all the touching and, dare I say, the violation that I was just forced to endure, I deserve this goddamn beer. And you know what? I deserve the goddamn beer that's going to come after this one too. Thank Buddha for the burgeoning airport bar scene. (yes... Buddha)

I've blogged about my inclusion on the National Do Not Fly list before. I've told the blogosphere about how I'm constantly forced to strip for the amusement of airport security. Never, however, has the process been this... umm, thorough.

Anyway, I have to go clean myself now... with sandpaper... and maybe a blowtorch if I can find one. Whatever, I'll use a creme brulee torch. I Don't care. So unclean... so unclean...

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Finding New Ways To Get Less Work Done
Posted by Sam at 12:31 AM | tags: life, technology

Typically, I'm not one to participate in the New Years Resolution tradition... That's not to say that I consider myself perfect, without flaw, or the apogee of human evolution. Ha! Far from it! It's more like I'm lazy. No, not lazy, let's go with busy. Too busy to modify my flow. This year, however, I will be participating. I will be resolving to add something to my pre-exisiting repertoire.

I resolve to be an active participant in the Instant Messaging community.

Yep... Instant Messaging, for some reason, is an online communication medium that I am simply not comfortable with. I just don't use it. It's an odd discrepancy, because I consider myself to be a very connected individual.

The rational behind my election to participate in the Instant Messaging community is not really of any practical purpose. Sure, I'd like to be more connected to the people I care about... but that's not the direct impetus. My immersion in this culture will be more of the academic sort. I want to understand the population's fascination with Instant Messaging, I want to learn the cryptic lingo (the first time someone "brb"ed me, I thought they were having some kind of online gas attack), and I'm always interested in adding one more way to procrastinate to my current repertoire. It's really all about finding new ways to get less work done.

In preparation for this scheduled full-frontal assault on Instant Messaging culture, I've spent the last week collecting the screen names of various coworkers and friends, along with certain tips, tricks, IM clients, and the occasional good-hearted piece of advice (apparently, it's very important to the slickness of one's online persona to maintain a chic, constantly revolving, collection of clever Away Messages. A good Away Message, according to my IM mentors, should be able to impart the following, without actually saying any of the following: Even though I'm away from my computer (or quite possibly just ignoring you) right now, I still want you to know how hella cool I am. Just take a gander at this movie quote/lyric snippet/fascinating URL that I've provided. See, I'm cool, hip, and in-the-know. Let's drink beer together!).

So now, in what's sure to be a colossal mistake in retrospect, here is my AIM screen name: robotsrgr8

I showed you mine, now it's your turn to show me yours.

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How I Know I'm Getting Old, Reason #328
Posted by Sam at 10:16 PM | tags: life, audio

Today, while listening to something new, I actually had to turn the bass down.

Pathetic, I know. My only consolation is that it'll all be over soon. It can't be long now... till they turn me into Soylent Green. And then finally, after taking so much from the community, I'll be able to give something back.

"Soon they'll be breeding us like cattle! You've got to warn everyone and tell them! Soylent green is made of people! You've got to tell them! Soylent green is people!"

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