Friday, September 30, 2005

It Always Tastes Better Out of a Shot Glass
Posted by Sam at 10:38 PM | tags:

I definitely just drank NyQuil out of a shot glass. Yep. It's been that's kind of a night. And yes, I'm that kind of awesome.

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Thursday, September 29, 2005

The End Is Nigh
Posted by Sam at 2:39 PM | tags: ,

I watched a student boot up his Dell Inspiron 600m laptop into Mac OS 10.4.1 today. It booted quickly and efficiently. Mouth agape, I watched as he launched Safari and iPhoto. Both opened with ease. He taunted me by loading sambot into Safari. A solitary tear rolled down my cheek.

My friends, the end is nigh. An era of self-proclaimed Macintosh elitism and snobbery have come to their final moments. Gone will be the day where the Macintosh can surf the internet unprotected and unafraid of catching the latest virus or worm. The good times are over.

I think we all know what to do now. Friends, go to your Mac. Hug your Mac. Spend some quality time with your Mac... for the next Mac you buy may, in fact, be a Dell.

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Friday, September 23, 2005

Addicted To Workahol
Posted by Sam at 10:41 PM | tags:

I wish that being a workaholic was more like being a chocoholic.

Chocoholism seems like it would be a bit more pleasurable than workaholism... as far as the 'holisms are concerned anyway.

Ok. Enough of that. Back to work.

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Thursday, September 22, 2005

My Saviour
Posted by Sam at 3:54 PM | tags: ,

These days, the only thing keeping me alive is coffee. But even the four cups per hour that I'm up to is starting to have little effect.

I'm seriously considering taking up smoking.

Or maybe I'll just start sweetening my coffee with ground caffeine pills instead of sugar... in addition to sugar?

Either way really.

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Monday, September 19, 2005

The Percussive Prowess of Cheese
Posted by Sam at 5:35 PM | tags:

As a half-assed percussionist and full-assed lover of cheese, I feel as though it is my duty to share this photoset with my readers. Yes friends, that drum kit is made entirely of cheese. And, I'll bet that it sounds... er... scrumptious. (thanks Music Thing)

Oh... If video exists of this, I'd love to see it. Go, my minions. Scour the internet for a moving picture of the cheese drum. I'll wait here.

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Saturday, September 17, 2005

$300 To Check My Email From the Bathroom
Posted by Sam at 9:32 PM | tags: ,

I gave up on Palm devices about a year ago. Don't get me wrong, they're very cool and very capable little toys, and I was an avid fan and addicted palm user for about three consecutive years. I owned a hand-me-down Palm m100 (I think), then I upgraded to a Kyocera 6035 (dubbed, "the graphing calculator" by my little sister... because it was about the size of a TI-85. The 6035 was one of the first Palm powered smart phones. It was such rad gizmo, and when it was new, it turned many a head when I pulled it out (why does that sound dirty?). But, as cell phones got smaller and lighter, it became an embarrassment to pull out this "graphing calculator" shaped brick and put it up to my ear to make a call), and then finally I graduated to a Tungsten E (of which I still maintain the opinion that it is one of the best Palms ever made when considering the most-bang-for-your-buck).

Unfortunately, Palm devices just stopped fitting into my life. After I got over the initial joy of installing games and little utilities onto the Palm, I really only used it for the built-in calendar, address book, and every once in a while, the calculator... all of which can now be accomplished on my tiny, clamshell cell phone.

One of the other things that my Palms didn't have was wireless connectivity. This was a big frustration for me. Especially in a world where WiFi is a burgeoning standard. My cell phone has Bluetooth, so why doesn't my Palm? Of course I know that there exists Palms with Bluetooth and WiFi, but obviously they are in the higher price range. I'm not spending $500 for a mediocre and chunky device just so I can connect wirelessly.

And through this and other similar frustrations, the Palm, as a personal life necessity, was phased out.

Yesterday however, I read about the Tungsten X. 802.11b WiFi. Bluetooth. 320 by 480 pixel display. And more... for $300. I got really excited about this when I read it. Why though? I mean, it's essentially just like my Tungsten E, but with wireless. Is wireless really that important to me? Well... yes.

There's just something really appealing about being able to check my email in the bathroom. Now, I've never hauled my Powerbook to the potty with me, but I have taken various Palm devices (and, so have you! And don't try to tell me that you haven't. Playing solitaire, bedazzled, or snood on the john is a luxury that a Palm user can't resist. There's no use denying it, and there's no shame in admitting it). Imagine checking your email from the bathroom. Imagine reading your news. Imagine even reading sambot... from the comfort and privacy of your own facilities.

And there you have it. I'm lusting after an, as of yet unreleased, Palm device just so I can know the pleasures of emailing from the bathroom.

To my friends, I say this: consider yourselves forewarned. For the next email you receive from me, may in fact, hail from lands where the porcelain gods are mighty, and the air is oft wrought with a stench known only to one's kin and housemates. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Honestly though, $300 for a device of this sort may just be the impetus I need to get back on the Palm wagon. But, while we're here (and while I've had a few glasses of wine), let us all gather 'round and join hands for prayer. Please, repeat after me:

Oh gracious Apple Computer,
Giver of the most streamlined and sexy toys around,
Deliver us from the toil that we are forced to endure.
Deliver us from the Palm OS, and Windows Mobile, and those Linux based handhelds whose names I cannot recall.
Give us a device touched by Steve himself.
Let us sync with iCal, Address Book, and iPhoto.
Give unto us a device whose quality is second to none.
We shall embrace it and love it as we have done with the iPod.
Call it the Newton II, or the NEWton, or the iPad.
Call it what you will, but withhold it no longer.

Steve Jobs rocks my world. Amen.

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Monday, September 12, 2005

World/Campus Domination
Posted by Sam at 2:33 PM

I just received word that a fully operational Starbucks is about to be erected here, on the Quinnipiac University campus. While I'm not a huge fan of Starbucks' world domination strategies, I am an enormous fan of coffee. And, since lately I've found that I'm on campus more than I am at my apartment, this is a very good thing. A very, very good thing.

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Sunday, September 11, 2005

Two Great Tastes
Posted by Sam at 2:28 AM

I don't exactly know why I thought that dried mango wedges smothered in chili powder would taste particularly good. Actually, come to think of it, I didn't think that dried mango wedges smothered in chili powder would taste particularly good at all... but I just had to know for sure. It's like when your college dorm mate says, "Dude, this bong water tastes like liquid ass!" And well... at that point, it's up to you, and only you, to verify or refute that claim.

Now, as an undergrad, I didn't have much of a typical college experience. So the above statement is based purely on hearsay. But, from what I have heard, those college kids can get pretty crazy... up all night studying and so forth.

Anyway, this spicy mango concoction was truly a taste sensation. And that sensation of course, was nausea.

And on that note, goodnight.

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Friday, September 09, 2005

Getting My Money's Worth
Posted by Sam at 5:08 PM

Ok. It's Friday, my day off. I don't have any classes today. I don't have work today (I work at Media Services, in the campus library). So, why am I here, at school... in the library, no less!?

Well, here are my thoughts:

1) I pay a bizillion dollars to go here. So, as far as I'm concerned, I own this place. And if I want to live here, in the plush lobby of the library, gosh darn it, I'd like to see the campus police try to stop me. (Seriously though, those chairs out there are more comfortable than any bed that I have ever owned.)

2) Aside from this very important post, I am actually getting work done.

3) Could it be that I actually like it here? Yes. Yes, I think that's it. I do actually like it here. Imagine that...

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Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Pattern Recognition
Posted by Sam at 3:18 PM

Time to get out the ol' way back machine...

Remember the original iMac. Sure you do... those bulbous, orbular, transparent, all-in-one Macs that we laugh at when we see a poor soul who's forced to use one nowadays. No? They came in fruit flavors. Ok... now you know exactly what I'm talking about. Quite a difference compared to the sleek white iMacs of today. Well, Apple killed off that fruit flavor color scheme after a while. And personally, I think it was a good design choice. While the marketing campaign at the time was brilliant, I always thought the product looked a tad foolish in real life.

Today, another of Apple's multi-colored products goes to the fruit flavored scrap yard. The iPod mini is dead. Long live the iPod nano!

This baby iPod is... well, just that; a baby iPod. It looks as though the regular iPod has been squished in all directions (including file capacity), and has left a short and skinny iPod mutant.

It's actually kind of cute. And I want one... just to cuddle with.

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Monday, September 05, 2005

Playing Deliverance
Posted by Sam at 5:57 PM

Today, I amused myself by playing a little game that I'd like to call, Deliverance. The gameplay is fairly simple. In fact, it really only involves me following this kayak dude down the bank of the Quinnipiac river, while unbeknownst to him (but beknownst to me (thanks for the vocab, Spaceballs)), I take his photo... and, according to certain Native American tribes, steal a piece of his soul... which incidentally, you should be able to find on eBay later this evening.

One of these days, I really should try to make some friends. Nah. Nevermind.

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Sunday, September 04, 2005

Grandma, I'm So Wasted
Posted by Sam at 11:36 AM

Ummm... good morning.

I read an article somewhere promoting a service that disables the ability to dial certain pre-specified numbers from one's cell phone at ungodly hours of the morning... like 4:19 a.m.

The service is there to prevent one from calling grandma at 4:19 a.m., simply to inform her of one's current level of intoxication.

Why... oh why, does this service not exist for bloggers?

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4:19 a.m.
Posted by Sam at 4:19 AM

"It's amazing," Sam thinks aloud, "that at 4:19 a.m., Sam knows that he should brush his teeth before collapsing on the living room floor in a drunken pile of contentment."

"Things," Sam says, "are finally starting to look up."

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Sam Who!?
Sam is an amazing and humble guy. Once, he rushed into a burning building, up six flights of stairs to save a kitten from certain death. He speaks eight languages, has mastered three varieties of martial arts, is a wine expert, and is a pulitzer prize winning author. Sam is an international heart-throb who prefers a quiet evening at home knitting afghans for the homeless, to the go-go, glitz and glamor of the party scene. I think the day he won the silver medal for ballroom dancing at the 98 olympics was the happiest of his life. Pretty impressive for a guy who never finished the 8th grade. - Carrie, 04
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