Friday, January 13, 2006

Happy Birthday Jason Voorhees!
Posted by Sam at 4:16 PM | tags: ,

Today is a very special day. In fact, it's so special that it only comes around every once in a while. Today, Friday the 13th, is a day of celebration for cynics and malcontents alike. So, in commemoration of today's misery, I'd like to wish all of my dear readers an ill-fated day of sour luck and melancholic ennui. You might consider staying within the familiar walls of your own house... although I've read that most accidents happen at home. Well then, I guess we're doomed. We're all doomed!

Update: Hot damn! It's also a full moon tonight! This is like every every goth kid's day in the sun... er, day in the darkness... whatever. I'm half expecting to hear Ozzy knocking at the door... or barking at the moon... whatever.

"Years spent in torment
Buried in a nameless grave
Now he has risen
Miracles would have to save
Those that the beast is looking for
Listen in awe and you'll hear him

Bark at the moon
Hey yeah, bark at the moon"

Ozzy Osbourne - Bark at the Moon

Comments: 2 | Post a Comment | Permalink


Comment By Anonymous on January 13, 2006 8:26 PM

Friday the 13th AND a full moon. Sweeeeet.

Your Goth comment reminded me of:

Kyle: Aw, come on, dude! All you've done for the last four days is mope around! You might as well hang out with those Goth kids who dress in black and talk about pain all the time!

Stan: Maybe I should. At least they will understand me. Maybe I should hang with the Goth kids.

[South Park Elementary, loading bay. Stan finds the boys]

Goth 1: Life is pain. Life is only pain. [his large bang falls over his right eye, he jerks his head back to put the bang in place] We're all taught to believe in happy fairytale endings. [his bang fall over his eye, he jerks his head back] But there's only blackness. Dark, depressing loneliness that [his bang fall over his eye, he jerks his head back] eats at your soul.

Goth 2: Who needs that kind of Barbie love, anyway? Everyone's just walking around like a bunch of conforminsts. Go ahead and wear your business suits so you can make thirty-four thousand dollars a year to buy your condominium. They're all zombies racing to their graves. Love didn't work for my mom and dad. Why should it work for me?

Goth Girl: My dad is such an asshole. Drunken bastard doesn't even know I exist. But then he won't let me go to the Skinny Puppy concert because my heroine-addict aunt is coming over for dinner. [takes a puff] Dinner? That's a laugh. Just an excuse for my mom to bitch at me for not wearing girly clothes like all the Britney Spears wannabes at this school.

Little Goth: They're all a bunch of Nazi conformists cheerleaders.

[Stan looks stunned at the age of this youngest of Goths]

Stan: But if life is only pain, then... what's the point of living?

Goth 1: Just to make life more miserable for the conformists. [his bang fall over his eye, he jerks his head back]

Stan: All right, so how do I join you?

Goth 2: If you wanna be one of the non-conformists, all you have to do is dress just like us and listen to the same music we do.

Stan: ...'K.

Comment By CmdrSue on January 14, 2006 11:57 PM

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Sam Who!?
Sam is an amazing and humble guy. Once, he rushed into a burning building, up six flights of stairs to save a kitten from certain death. He speaks eight languages, has mastered three varieties of martial arts, is a wine expert, and is a pulitzer prize winning author. Sam is an international heart-throb who prefers a quiet evening at home knitting afghans for the homeless, to the go-go, glitz and glamor of the party scene. I think the day he won the silver medal for ballroom dancing at the 98 olympics was the happiest of his life. Pretty impressive for a guy who never finished the 8th grade. - Carrie, 04
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