100%
Posted by Sam at 3:55 PM

So either:

A) I've finished my thesis,
B) I haven't left the library since Saturday, or
C) I'm dead (and blogging from the nether-realm).

The correct answer is A... and a little bit of C thrown in for flava.

The truth is that I'm 95% done with my thesis. And 5% dead. So really, it all balances out. But I'll be 100% done really soon. And then 100% graduated. And then 100% a master.

And then 100% unemployed.

Yay!

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If My Heart Doesn't Explode First...
Posted by Sam at 8:48 PM

I am only allowed to leave the library tonight under one of the two following conditions:

1) I am finished with my graduate thesis, or
2) I am dead.

(I'm hoping for the first scenario... but only marginally so).

And thus, in a weak attempt to accelerate the completion of my thesis (and also, to advance the incursion of death), I have prepared the requisite dinner of power bars and energy drinks... a perfect compliment to a fine evening of academic toil.

Ahh... good times.

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Multiple Choice
Posted by Sam at 2:45 PM

Concerning web browsers, there was a time (a dark time) when I used to do the Safari thing. Then I migrated to Firefox (and then back to Safari... and then back to Firefox... which is not what we're here to talk about). But concerning mail apps, the Moz (Mozilla, the makers of Firefox) just released Thunderbird 2, a free and powerful email app.

Currently, I use OS X's Mail and I'm pretty happy with it. Though, it does have its annoying quirks. Now the T'bird... well, she's already making some peeps pretty excited. Dare I?

And so, as I do with all of the important and life-altering decisions that I'm faced with, I turn to the internet. My dear readers, should I make the switch from Mail to T'bird?

A) Yes.
B) No.
C) I really don't care. And by the way, this will be the last time that I read this crappy-ass blog.

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Wha?
Posted by Sam at 6:59 PM

Being somewhat of a self-proclaimed sewing dork, and equally as much a cool machines dork, I was delighted (simply delighted!) to see this graphic explain, using four-color animated gif awesomeness, the stitching technique of the commonplace sewing machine. Up until this point, I was fully willing to accept satan, magic, or gnomes as logical answers to the mystery of the sewing machine question... that can be fully and succinctly articulated in the following syllable: wha?

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I Have Influence
Posted by Sam at 3:01 PM

It worked!

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Get on Your Blogs and Ride!
Posted by Sam at 4:35 PM

Something weird is going on with Blogger and/or Blogspot and/or Bloglines: the blogs of some of my peeps that have not updated their blogs in a very long time, are spontaneously showing up as unread in my feed reader. Which is weird, but also kinda nice. It's like an unexpected dose of nostalgia... a reminder of a simpler time... a time when bloggers may still have referred to their craft as weblogging. Weblogging!? Ha! Those truly were foolish times.

And so, the following is a plea... no, let's make it a petition (to be signed in the comments section of this post). It's a call to all of my pals who once proudly donned the titled "blogger" but have since fallen, hard, from the top deck of the blogwagon. (And this points especially pointedly at The Dark Lord Derfla, whose blog, From the Depths of the Tepid Inferno, demonstrates a mastery of hand drawn, Sharpie and Post-It note illustrations which showcase the hilarious exploits (often featuring yours truly) of the trials and tribulations of The Dark Lord's daily routine.)

And so, from one who knows the pain of time spent away from the blog, I reach an outstretched hand from the driver's seat of the blogwagon to those unfortunate bloggers who have fallen to the cold, wet, and just miserable on all accounts, ground. Come'on back. We'll party like it's 2004.

The Petition:

The internet is a cold, wet, and just miserable on all accounts, place without the blogs we once loved. Therefore, we, the undersigned, hereby invite those who may have fallen, to get back on their blogs and ride (ummm... sing that last part in the tune of Fat Bottom Girls by Queen... you know, that part where Freddie Mercury shouts, "Get on your bikes and ride!" for no particular reason whatsoever. God... I love that song).

Signed,

(sign petition by leaving a comment)

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Boycott
Posted by Sam at 5:12 PM

Top 10 Coolest Doormats!? What!? No... I refuse.

Okay. This is it. I've had enough. I'm drawing the line. The buck stops here. The camel's back just broke. Et cetera. Et cetera. Et cetera.

Can someone please tell me what the blogoshere's fascination with top ten lists is?

Play along at home! What fun!
1. Go to digg.com.
2. Search for "top ten."*
3. Be appalled by the ensuing result.

Anyway, this has got to end. So, even though I've written one, I declare an all out boycott of the invasive top ten list. Starting... now!

*The actual search term that I used was "ten top." I dunno. It just worked better that way. But I'm sure someone was going to call me out on it.

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I Hate Old Navy
Posted by Sam at 1:56 PM

I never was, nor do I aspire to be a bicycle messenger. However, I spent some time living in the East Bay, rooming with a San Franciscan messenger. And as a result, I was unwittingly plunged headfirst into their culture... which was accurately described to me as being "the rock star lifestyle of the cycling world," in that bicycle messengers are feared by grandmas, idolized by youth, and guilty of trashing hotel rooms... all of which I can't personally verify. But I've heard stories.

I do enjoy the bicycle though, in all its forms (especially the purest), cultures, and subcultures... including, of course, bike messenger culture. Clearly, this stems (almost entirely) from my west coast inundation. And even though I have long since moved back to the east coast, I've maintained a sort of passive interest in the goings-on within the bicycle messenger genre of bikedom. Why? Well, I guess it makes me feel ever-so-slightly less removed from the west coast and my bike messenger friend.

And that is why I hate Old Navy. Good night.

Wait. I think I left something out. Oh right... In my passive interest in the goings-on of the bike messenger community, I stumbled upon this: "Can't think of a sub-culture that hates to be co-opted more than bike messengers. Nothing worse than seeing your lifestyle turned into an Old Navy tshirt." Yep. Old Navy has taken the bike messenger rock star lifestyle, condensed it, mainstreamed it, and printed it on a faux-vintage t-shirt.

And that is why I hate Old Navy. Good night.

(Ahh... see? My hatred makes so much more sense now. And for the record, I don't really hate Old Navy. It's not their fault. I think Murphy's Law of Cool Things states that, "All cool things will, eventually and unfortunately, be exploited by large corporations (that just don't get it) for the specific intent of mainstream consumption.)

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"Kurt is up in heaven now."
Posted by Sam at 10:48 AM

Kurt Vonnegut died yesterday. He was 84. This makes me so sad.

The following is a quote from Kurt's last book, A Man Without a Country (2005). It seems oddly appropriate:

"I am, incidentally, Honorary President of the American Humanist Association, having succeeded the late, great science fiction writer Isaac Asimov in that totally functionless capacity. We had a memorial service for Isaac a few years back, and I spoke and said at one point, 'Isaac is up in heaven now.' It was the funniest thing I could have said to an audience of humanists. I rolled them in the aisles. It was several minutes before order could be restored. And if I should ever die, God forbid, I hope you will say, 'Kurt is up in heaven now.' That's my favorite joke."

Anyway, R.I.P. Kurt Vonnegut. And if you haven't already, you should read Vonnegut's The Sirens of Titan, followed by Slapstick... two of my favorites.

More:
Boing Boing
New York Times
Gaurdian Unlimited

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