High-Five Skillz
Posted by Sam at 2:35 PM

I've never been good at high-fives. It's true. Ask anyone who has ever attempted to share a triumphant moment of victory with me. Go on... ask 'em. They'll say something like, "Yeah... Sam and I won that tournament thingy and, in celebration, we attempted a high-five. That's how I got this terrifying, Xamot-like scar on my face. If I ever see that bastard again, I'm gonna rip his..." You get the idea.

I don't really know where the culprit lies. Is it depth perception? Hand eye coordination? Lack of coolness? Well, regardless of the cause, I feel that this ineptitude has the tendency to squelch all of the excitement from the moment that instigated it in the first place. Essentially, after the high-five failure, it's hard to carry on with the original joyous moment. I killed it. I killed all of the fun. Damn these hands!

Before I go off to grad school, I feel as though I should attempt to smooth out my high-five skills. I can only assume that there will be a lot of high-fiving during class. Like, "Hey Sam, way to go on your thesis! *high-five* ARGHHH!!! My eye!"

FUN FACT: In the process of looking for a photo... I mean, drawing of Xamot, I discovered that the name of the Cobra Emperor (from the G.I. Joe cartoons and comics) is spelled "Serpentor" and not "Sir Pentor." Initially, I had just assumed that some dude named Pentor had been knighted (like Sir Bill Gates) thus creating "Sir Pentor." I've been living a lie for the past 20 years.

Comments: 6 | Post a Comment | Permalink

Oh dear. They let you into grad school without High Five certification! This is a problem! A grad student who can't properly instigate and interact with a full five digits will bring shame onto themselves, their university, and even their country.
Clearly, some heads will need to roll in the admission department.

Comment By Anonymous on March 17, 2005 6:18 PM

it's ok sam... I've always thought (at least with you) that shaking hands were the sign of a steady heart...

Comment By kjwaggon on March 17, 2005 9:10 PM

okay, screw your high five skills (that is for white hats and mocking white hats), im more concerned with your lack of gi joe knowledge. sir pentor? he was the COBRA emperor. i cant believe you didnt have a firm grasp of herpetology and puns at the age of 7. and they still let you into grad school.

Comment By manuel_noriega on March 18, 2005 12:27 AM

I was a little distressed that he thought "Sir Pentor" too. Sam, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume that your friends got you some good "stuff" that day and it never really let go...

As for the herpes and five digit interaction...she said he's got great experience with that...

CRAP, I better turn off posts on my blog...

Comment By Blackwatch on March 18, 2005 1:17 PM

In my experience with the "high five", the only one's that are experts in that field are the jocks, so you not being good at it is actually a very very good thing.

Comment By Anonymous on March 18, 2005 4:00 PM

You have not performed a real high five until you've perfected the circular high five a la Maverick and Goose from Top Gun.

Comment By Jason D. on March 20, 2005 12:54 PM