Tuesday, May 02, 2006

The Other Night in the Library
Posted by Sam at 3:24 PM | tags:

As a general rule, no story, anecdote, or blog entry has any remote chance in hell of being interesting with a title that reads, "The Other Night in the Library." Unfortunately, this post is about events that transpired the other night in the library. So, in a half-assed attempt to provide an excuse for a half-assed blog entry, I opted to keep the title as accurate as possible. And maybe... just maybe, this stimulating post will help to eradicate the stigma that hovers around anything whose topic is library related. Let's break down the walls of stereotypic oppression! The library isn't just a place of academic introversion! No sir! It's a thrilling realm of adventure where excitement can be found around every bookshelf... umm... see, here's the problem. Excitement can be found around every bookshelf!? Typically, "bookshelf" isn't part of an adventure exuding vernacular. The word "bookshelf" kind of lends itself to... well, more of a library-esque atmosphere.

And here we are. Right back where we started. So, I give up. Sigh. Anyway...

The other night in the library... I think it was Friday night (I can't really remember. The last couple of weeks seem to have been smooshed into a blurry torrent of coffee consumption, writing, and librarying). I do, however, know that it was 2 a.m., because I was the only soul in that place. It was a pathetic new low for me. While the entire campus was out doing whatever the cool kids do on a Friday night, I was in the library... doing whatever the uncool kids do on a Friday night. No, not Dungeons & Dragons. I was being a studious grad student. Geez...

The icing on this particular cake of shame, came when the lights in the library decided to turn themselves off. My immediate thought, of course, was that the library had closed up around me and I was locked in and I was going have to eat my own leg to survive the cold dark night alone (at which point, consisted of a short six hours before the library staff opened up in the morning. But still...). As I stood up in the darkness to confirm my doom, the lights turned back on. It occurred to me at that point that the lights were controlled by some kind of motion-sensing apparatus. I had been sitting so perfectly still that these library light robots had thought me to be either dead or furniture. Either way, I felt comforted by the fact that the library automatons considered my nocturnal existence to be of such little consequence that even light, a fundamental staple of life, was an excessive indulgence and really, I should be able to get by just fine without it. Oh wait... did I say, "comforted?" I meant demoralized.

Anyway, the point is that this semester, while grand and wholly edutastic, needs to be over. Right now.

Comments: 2 | Post a Comment | Permalink

Son you are a NERD!!!!

Comment By TheDarkLordDerfla on May 03, 2006 12:00 PM

A fuckin' men dude. I have my first of three finals tomorrow. 4 and a half hours of something that makes jerking off with a steel wool glove seem wonderful.


Comment By Anonymous on May 04, 2006 8:54 PM

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Sam is an amazing and humble guy. Once, he rushed into a burning building, up six flights of stairs to save a kitten from certain death. He speaks eight languages, has mastered three varieties of martial arts, is a wine expert, and is a pulitzer prize winning author. Sam is an international heart-throb who prefers a quiet evening at home knitting afghans for the homeless, to the go-go, glitz and glamor of the party scene. I think the day he won the silver medal for ballroom dancing at the 98 olympics was the happiest of his life. Pretty impressive for a guy who never finished the 8th grade. - Carrie, 04
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