This Entry Reads Like a Book Report
Posted by Sam at 4:01 PM

When I first read the book Speaker for the Dead (Orson Scott Card's second book in the Ender's Game series... come on people, keep up!), I was appalled by how emotionless it was compared to Ender's Game. It was like reading a high school history text book - all facts, no commentary, no insight, dry, and bland. I remember finishing Speaker for the Dead and finding myself utterly disappointed. It was then that I flipped the book over to the cover, in hopes of finding "Orson Scott Blard's Spokesman for the Deceased" or something like that... something that would account for that atrocity. And then, like a kick in the crotch, the answer came to me. One word. At the bottom of the cover. Barely noticeable: ABRIDGED.

That was what Star Wars, Episode III, Revenge of the Sith, felt like. It was like watching the abridged version of something really spectacular. All of the elements were there - action, romance, tragedy, betrayal, light sabers, etc... - but none of the emotion. Like, for example: I know Padme and Anakin are 'sposed to be in love, but I just wasn't feeling it. And the dialog was...

You know what? This film is going to be analyzed, re-analyzed, and over-analyzed on every fanboy Star Wars site from here to the Degobah system. So, on sambot.com, let's try to focus on some of the cooler parts of the film... because that's really what it's about, right? It's about enjoying a movie with kick-ass special effects, amazingly choreographed fight scenes, intriguing mythology, and an immense legion of action figures and toys that will continue to fund Lucas and his minions' every endeavor well into the next millennium (falcon).

So, let's explore some of the cooler parts, shall we?

1) There was a ton of bad ass shit in this mother fucker! When Anakin sliced Dooku's hands off... oh man! That was hot! The four armed robot, General Grievous. That fight scene was sweet! When the clones turned on the Jedi and killed them, one by one. That was vicious! When Anakin did the Jedi neck squeeze thing to Padme. Bad fucking ass!

2) Comedy! The first portion of the movie was pretty funny. It took me by surprise. Everything I had read prior to watching the film mentioned how absolutely dark and morose Sith was. So, I was taken aback when there was so much humor in the beginning. I didn't like it at first, but in retrospect, I think that it worked well.

3) Origins! We got to see everything set up for the original Star Wars movie, A New Hope. All (most?) of the puzzle pieces were put in place. Yoda in exile. Obi-Wan on Tatooine. Luke and Leah split up. Even C-3PO's memory erased. Very cool.

4) Cameos! Chewbacca. The Millennium Falcon. The Death Star. (I don't really know if those last two can be considered cameos... but whatev.) I know that I'm omitting many and I'm sure that I missed many more. But you get the idea.

Anyway, my initial tendency here is to be overcritical about something as dear to my heart as Star Wars. So overcritical in fact, that sometimes I miss the point: To simply enjoy the movie for what it is. Well, I did nearly miss the point. But, I think that I caught myself just in time. I enjoyed Revenge of the Sith. And, I'll probably go see it many more times. Why? Because I'm a tremendous dork.

It's tough being a tremendous dork trapped in this high-rolling, millionaire playboy, lifestyle. I mean sometimes I just want to get down and nerd it up... but then I catch a glimpse of my perfectly groomed yet untamable hair in the mirror and remember that I've got a BMW Z5 in the garage next to my Ducati sports bike (and who can forget the trophy wife?). When I stop and reflect on my extreme awesomeness, all of that nerding-it-up nonsense evaporates... instantly.

Comments: 2 | Post a Comment | Permalink

Well, Sam, I think you nailed it (no, not the Ewok...this time). It's a movie that was good, but in my heart I know it could've been more. Much more.

There needed to be hand2hand Wookie combat. I mean, sure, bowcasters rock, but watching a Wookie rip something in two and then beat knock other somethings a country mile would be completely awesome.

I don't think I can sumarize my thoughts much better than you have. I may just have to plagarize your post. Or, well, maybe just link to it.

Comment By Blackwatch on May 23, 2005 8:19 AM

i saw the movie this weekend, overall, i was happy with it, i left the movie wanting to run home and watch the original 3. and like you are, i am sure my darling husband-to-be will drag me to see it a good 2-3 more times. i laughed, i cried, i got goose bumps when darth vader appeared in full costume. i will give it 3 out of 4 stars.

Comment By Anonymous on May 23, 2005 9:41 AM