Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Milk Crates and Plywood
Posted by Sam at 6:32 PM | tags:

Yeah, yeah... Apple did the 17 inch, Intel MacBook Pro thing yesterday. Yee-haw! It's got a whole boatload of great stuff, including blah bliggity blah blah blah...

Look, it's a nice machine and all, I'm just not terribly excited about it. Firstly, it was inevitable. No surprises here. Nextly (okay... come on now, spell check! Nextly!? That's not a word!? Are you sure?)... and I should note, the following complaint isn't really targeted directly at the new 17 incher. No, it's aimed at the entire population of 17 inch behemoths. Really people, these things are like the size of a coffee table. Slap some legs on these suckers, throw a few magazines on top and you've got yourself one hell of an over-powered piece of furniture... not to mention costly. Yeah, I come from the school of thought that any piece of furniture can (and should) be constructed entirely out of milk crates and plywood. And if you want to "jazz" things up a bit (you know, to impress the ladies), just staple on a few towels. Not only does it provide an added layer of comfort, but you can wipe your hands on it too.

Okay, where were we... ah yes: Nextly, it's one big mofo. Doesn't that sorta, ya know, defeat the whole portability thing? It's a laptop. Shouldn't it be able to fit on one's lap?

Anyway, I'll be impressed when the li'l 12 inchers pop out... or maybe the 13 inch wide screen version. Yeah. That'll be hot.

Comments: 7 | Post a Comment | Permalink

i hear ya with the whole portability thing...but i think it would really be a problem if someone decides to push laptops to 19". Besides, not that i was surprised either but happy to see, i have added the behemoth macbook to my wishlist...the largerness would be wonderful for my line of works, especially if i wanted to show clients work in their homes without everyone having to take turns looking at the screen....then after that comes the digital projector.

Comment By bryan on April 25, 2006 9:27 PM

I think the 13" version might be the one I fall for...

Comment By w-w on April 25, 2006 10:46 PM

Man, I want a 12 incher because frankly there is only about 14 inches of room on my desk at work and I have to put my coffee cup somewhere.

Comment By TheDarkLordDerfla on April 26, 2006 11:24 AM

Yeah man, I hear ya. That coffee is just as important as that laptop... each enabling productivity in their own special way.

Solution to disappearing desk space: Beer helmet (filled with coffee). Oh, you know you want it...

or,

Put the laptop on your lap... leaving plenty of room for a mini espresso machine on your desk. You'll be the envy of your coworkers! Watch your productivity soar! That promotion is just around the corner! etc... etc... As an added bonus, prolonged exposure to laptop heat on one's lap has been proven to reduce sperm count. Population control!

Either way, you're a winner and undeniably cool! Nice coffee helmet, moron... and what the hell is that steaming hissing contraption on your desk?

Comment By Sam on April 26, 2006 12:22 PM

I agree that 17" is getting kinda big. I have a laptop on my desk right now with a large widescreen. This thing is heavy and big. I barely see the need to take this on the road. Well, I guess you could beat someone with it, if needed...

It IS nice to watch movies on when nothing else is happening.

Comment By Blackwatch on April 27, 2006 1:39 PM

ok..so i'm apparently the only one who would have practical applications for the 17" hunk of titanium...though i was never a fan of micro machines as a kid either.

Comment By bryan on April 27, 2006 7:58 PM

Dude... micro machines rocked! And what happened to that fast-talking-guy on the commercials? He's most likely dead. I'll bet that he had a really short life span. He was probably twelve years old... and just did everything really quickly, including aging. R.I.P. Fast-talking-guy. You'll always be remembered during fits of nostalgic sorrow.

Oh... and the MacBooks are aluminum these days. Titanium was only around for one iteration. But remember how much they hyped the awesomeness of titanium? "Airplanes are made out of titanium, and now so is your laptop!" Right... well, I guess that's not that important anymore. Oh Apple, if I only I didn't love you unconditionally... I'd probably have to hate you. No. That could never happen.

Comment By Sam on April 27, 2006 8:39 PM

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Sam is an amazing and humble guy. Once, he rushed into a burning building, up six flights of stairs to save a kitten from certain death. He speaks eight languages, has mastered three varieties of martial arts, is a wine expert, and is a pulitzer prize winning author. Sam is an international heart-throb who prefers a quiet evening at home knitting afghans for the homeless, to the go-go, glitz and glamor of the party scene. I think the day he won the silver medal for ballroom dancing at the 98 olympics was the happiest of his life. Pretty impressive for a guy who never finished the 8th grade. - Carrie, 04
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