Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Five Reasons Why Today is Just Weird
Posted by Sam at 2:02 PM | tags: , ,

1) The pants that I wear everyday just feel wrong today.

2) The coffee isn't working. Did someone mislabel the coffee dispensers? If I'm drinking decaf, I'm gonna be mightily peeved.

3) I just came from a meeting concerning a new project that I am purportedly "perfect for." I don't really know all of the details yet, but the project is essentially a memorial film/slideshow showcasing the life and times of a recently deceased horse. It's moments like these where I find myself severely questioning the direction of my career.

4) I forgot my watch.

5) I guess that I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today... which is hard because there's a wall there.

Comments: 2 | Post a Comment | Permalink

Sam

That sounds like an...interesting...day. Usually I find that when my pants don't fit, it's cuz they are someone elses.

Your horse slide show sounds interesting. I think you should gussy it up by showing what happens after the horse passes away.

"Please change the slide at the beep"

*beep*

"Here's Sidesaddle. Once a magnificent race pony. Now a husk of lifeless meat. But, oh, what meat!"

*beep*

"You see, after Sidesaddle broke her leg, her owner carefully and respectfully unloaded his .50 Caliber Desert Eagle into her skull, ensuring a quick and painless passing."

*beep*

"After this ritual, Sidesaddle is picked up by the truck from Sunny Farms, where her body will be properly disposed of."

*beep*

"At Sunny Farms, Sidesaddle is unloaded into a 'hopper' where her body is moved in for processing"

*beep*

"After a little post-mortem 'processing', Sidesaddle is placed inside her semi-final resting containers, where her meat can stay fresh and juicy for aeons."

*beep*

"Sunny Farms Canned Meat. When the best is good enough!"

*beep*

"This has been an 'eat meat' production.

Comment By Blackwatch on February 07, 2006 4:15 PM

Wow!

I was going to add a funny comment about dead horses and Sam's suitability for a mixed media presentation about them but after the first comment why bother. Its been done.

Comment By TheDarkLordDerfla on February 07, 2006 5:04 PM

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Sam is an amazing and humble guy. Once, he rushed into a burning building, up six flights of stairs to save a kitten from certain death. He speaks eight languages, has mastered three varieties of martial arts, is a wine expert, and is a pulitzer prize winning author. Sam is an international heart-throb who prefers a quiet evening at home knitting afghans for the homeless, to the go-go, glitz and glamor of the party scene. I think the day he won the silver medal for ballroom dancing at the 98 olympics was the happiest of his life. Pretty impressive for a guy who never finished the 8th grade. - Carrie, 04
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