Friday, March 25, 2005

Let's Dim the Love
Posted by Sam at 9:29 AM

I have collected a couple comments concerning my current chronicled creation, in which the concealed commenters commented on the calamity of my commentary.

Sorry... sometimes I get stuck. Let's give that another try:

I have gotten a few comments to my last post in which the anonymous authors remarked on the sadness of my entry. Hmmm... maybe I over did it with the drama.

I'm about to talk about love and relationships again. I wouldn't be offended if you left right now. This is your chance... Run away!

I guess that it's not that I don't know what love is. No, I've experienced it... twice. And, it's not that in the times when I have thought to have been in love, I actually was not. It's more that those loves where the wrong kinds of love. Don't get me wrong, they were beautiful, wonderful, and I learned so much about myself and about love during those relationships. But yes, those loves must not have been the right kind of love. Clearly, this must be the truth, or else I would still be with those whom I was in love with. That makes sense, right? If the love was right, we would still be together. Logically, that is solid. Why do I feel as though I am missing something?

In my naive youth, I thought that love was binary. One either loves or does not love. The love switch is either in the On position or it's Off. There is no dimmer switch in the realm of love. One cannot turn down the love without turning it off. "Man, the love is way too bright in here. Let's dim the love." But it appears that I was wrong. It seems as though there are shades of grey when concerning love... there are varying levels of love... where the pinnacle must be true love.

I'd like to think that true love is different than your regular, run o' the mill, generic brand love. I want to think that true love is something that I will just know, without question... something that feels so right... something where any other option seems utterly absurd. I guess that I won't really know it until it hits me...

Ok... survey time. Answer the following questions to the best of your knowledge (contained within the parenthesis are my answers):
1) Have you ever been in love? (Yes)
2) How many times? (Two)
3) Have you ever tricked yourself into thinking that you were in love? (Maybe)
4) Have you ever said "I love you" and not meant it? (Unfortunately, yes)
5) Have you ever experienced true love? (Nope)
6) Are you sure? (Nope)
7) If so, what was it like? How did you know that it was true love? (N/A)
8) Have you ever been in love with a donut? A dozen donuts? (Yes! Oh god, yes...)
9) Will you buy me a donut? (Not a chance.)
10) Please? (Fine...)

The main thing here is that those of you who have ever experienced true love, come forward and let the rest of us know that it exists... renew our faith. Let us know what it's like, when you knew, and how you knew.

Thanks for your input. I promise that this will be the last post of this sort (for a while, at least).

Comments: 7 | Post a Comment | Permalink

1) Have you ever been in love? (Yes)
2) How many times? (Once definite..perhaps a second)
3) Have you ever tricked yourself into thinking that you were in love? (Yes)
4) Have you ever said "I love you" and not meant it? (Yes)
5) Have you ever experienced true love? (A matter of interpretation, but yes.)
6) Are you sure? (Yes)
7) If so, what was it like? How did you know that it was true love? (Stalking doesn't seem so criminal)
8) Have you ever been in love with a donut? A dozen donuts? (Coincedently, I'm loving a dozen right now)
9) Will you buy me a donut? (Only if you pay me back.)
10) Please? (I just told I need money!)

Comment By Jason D. on March 25, 2005 10:00 AM

1. Have you ever been in love? (Yes)
2. How many times? (Twice)
3. Have you ever tricked yourself into thinking that you were in love? (Nope)
4. Have you ever said "I love you" and not meant it? ( I'm not that nice.)
5.Have you ever experinced true love? (Yes...I think so.)
6. Are you sure? (Yes)
7. If so, what was it like? (The violins swelled and the world slipped into soft focus.)
8. Have you ever been in love with a donut? (Yes, but they always break my heart.)
9. Will you buy me a donut? (Here take this one.)
10. Please? (Here take the damn donut already!)

Comment By TheDarkLordDerfla on March 25, 2005 10:53 AM

1) Have you ever been in love? (Yes)
2) How many times? (Three)
3) Have you ever tricked yourself into thinking that you were in love? (Like Sam said, there are many shades of grey when it comes to love. I think I've loved people for different reasons and in different ways. I don't think I've ever tricked myself into thinking I was in love.)
4) Have you ever said "I love you" and not meant it? (once)
5) Have you ever experienced true love? (Yes)
6) Are you sure? (Yes)
7) If so, what was it like? How did you know that it was true love? (When I wanted to be so close to someone that I wished I could just melt into them...sounds weird, I know, but that's all I wanted...to become a part of them.)
8) Have you ever been in love with a donut? A dozen donuts? (Yes. I wish I had a box o' happiness right now.)
9) Will you buy me a donut? (If I could afford it, I would buy everyone in the world a donut.)
10) Please? (No need to beg)
-amie

Comment By Anonymous on March 25, 2005 12:35 PM

Is caring about someone a one dimensional thing, can a relationship be rated along a simple spectrum? On one end there is hate, on the other true love, and somewhere in between is all the other range of interpersonal emotions:

It sounds deliciously simple, as if one could assign a number value to it and make a relationship bar graph that would showing precisely how in love one is with various people. Despite being an engineer who loves all things quantifiable, I don't buy it for a minute. Life is far too dynamic, too chaotic, and too blissfully real for that.

Is it wrong to feel different kinds of love and different points in ones life? To be head over heels in love for somebody's stability, and later be utterly smitten by someone else's wild side? Does one of them have to be false?
And why does it have to be a constant for an eternity? If I once was happy, and am now depressed, does that mean I was never truly happy? Can't emotions be allowed to flow and change over the the course of an evening and certainly over the course of a lifetime? Its wonderful if two people find they grow and change together their whole lives, but does that means it's not 'true' if it doesn't happen like that?

Nothing else in the universe is constant and immutable; why does hollywood insist on telling us that Love is? That if we don't have a moment where we suddenly know we'll always be 'happily ever after' that we're somehow lacking? That if we thought we were in love at one point, and aren't now, that it was somehow false? Does this definition of love do anything but leave us craving something inhumanly perfect? And force us to spend each moment trying to weigh that moment against all other moments and all other people? Is that really living? Is that really Love?

I bet this is what Goethe was thinking when he wrote "Those only obtain love, for the most part, who seek it not."

Comment By Anonymous on March 25, 2005 1:03 PM

1) Have you ever been in love? (Yes)
2) How many times? (Two)
3) Have you ever tricked yourself into thinking that you were in love? (no)
4) Have you ever said "I love you" and not meant it? (no)
5) Have you ever experienced true love? (Yes)
6) Are you sure? (Very)
7) If so, what was it like? How did you know that it was true love? (i knew immediatley, just said nothing for a while for fear of scaring him. What is it like...hmmm hard to describe, i feel like i can be myself 100% and not be judged, and i am always happy, even when i am upset or mad at him)
8) Have you ever been in love with a donut? A dozen donuts? (not love per-say but lust oh yes)
9) Will you buy me a donut? (not unless you buy me one first)
10) Please? (NO!)

Comment By Anonymous on March 25, 2005 2:27 PM

1) Have you ever been in love? (Yes)
2) How many times? (Three)
3) Have you ever tricked yourself into thinking that you were in love? (Yes)
4) Have you ever said "I love you" and not meant it? (Yes)
5) Have you ever experienced true love? (Yes)
6) Are you sure? (Yes)
7) If so, what was it like? How did you know that it was true love? (Hmm, it's hard to explain.. I'm in love now, and it's just that I've never felt this strongly for someone before. When we're togther it just feels so undeniably right. With others I had doubts, but with this person there is no doubt in my mind and in my heart that the love we share is real and true.)
8) Have you ever been in love with a donut? A dozen donuts? (donuts-no, this chocolate cream pie i'm eating now-yes)
9) Will you buy me a donut? (Sorry, kinda tight on cash.)
10) Please? (No!)

Comment By tommy m. on March 25, 2005 3:56 PM

1.) Have you ever been in love? (Yes)
2.) How many times? (one in a half)
3.) Have you ever tricked yourself into thinking that you were in love? (yes, that half of a time)
4.) Have you ever said "I love you" and not meant it (yes)
5.) Have you ever experienced true love? (I think so)
6.) Are you sure? (I was something that I never felt before and I still think about it 10 years later. If that's not true love it was definitely some kind of love)
7.) If so, what was is like? How did you know that it was true love? (As soon as I met this person there was a sudden urge of needing and wanting this person in my life. Some believe that this was love at first site. I agree but it was also much more than that. I would have done anything, and given up everything to be with this person)
8.) Have you ever been in love with a donut? A dozen donuts? (I sure love food but never enough to be in love with it)
9.) Will you buy me a donut? (Sam, I would even but you a coffee to go along with it)
10.) Please? (Where would you like it from?)

Comment By Rebecca K. on March 29, 2005 10:05 PM

Tags
:: life
:: apple
:: design
:: technology
:: blogging
:: college
:: dark
:: coffee
Other
:: comments
:: comments rss feed
Search

sambot    web
Sam Who!?
Sam is an amazing and humble guy. Once, he rushed into a burning building, up six flights of stairs to save a kitten from certain death. He speaks eight languages, has mastered three varieties of martial arts, is a wine expert, and is a pulitzer prize winning author. Sam is an international heart-throb who prefers a quiet evening at home knitting afghans for the homeless, to the go-go, glitz and glamor of the party scene. I think the day he won the silver medal for ballroom dancing at the 98 olympics was the happiest of his life. Pretty impressive for a guy who never finished the 8th grade. - Carrie, 04
Recent Posts
Relationship With a Capital "R"
A Newer, More Differenter, sambot.com
Here Goes Nothing
High-Five Skillz
Flesh Car
Less Bad
Raining Bricks
Tiger and RSS
85 Days, 5 Hours, and 43 Minutes Until the End
A Declaration
Photostream

LATEST

RANDOM

Photostream provided by flickr. Subscribe to the sambot Photostream via RSS here.
Archives
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
 
 
sam bot dot com uses blogger. go get yourself a blog!
this is version 2.5