Friday, September 08, 2006

Darth Vader... He's So Dreamy
Posted by Sam at 3:31 PM | tags:

The other night, I had a dream that's been haunting me ever since. For the sake of personal therapy, and simply to get it off my chest, I'm going to share it here, on the internet. Here, where free thought, perverse and immoral by nature, runs rampant. Amidst all that is deranged and unholy, this dream will find a home. I'll spare you of the details as I offer up the gist, because... well, it's just a dream. And it doesn't mean anything. Right?

The dream, briefly: It's midday. I find myself at work (I think), which is at Media Services found in the university library (I should note, there are times at work when I do a whole lot of nothing: sitting around, shootin' the poo... as they say). This particular afternoon, I happen to be shootin' the poo with some coworkers. Specifically, I'm arguing in favor of all that is evil, by way of the following statement: "Darth Vader, he's really a cool guy once you get to know him." Yep. I'm trying to convince my coworkers that Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, is just a dude like you and me. Give him some time. Get to know him. You'll like him. Really. And no, this isn't some kind of Jedi mind trick.

However, that's not everything. Nope. I've omitted the most disturbing part. In fact, I was going to keep it to myself, but in order to truly get a sense of the haunting nature of this dream (and to get a frightening glimpse into the haunting nature of my psyche) I feel that it too needs to be shared. Full disclosure. Here we go: Darth Vader was, of course, sporting his typical gloss black helmet and face plate. Though, instead of his usual black cape and ominous attire, he was wearing jeans and a button down shirt... tucked in! From the neck down, he looked like... a dad!? And as I tried to convince my coworkers of his coolness, Vader was just standing there behind me... casually looking around, hands in his pockets, timidly kicking the carpeting with his white, tragically unstylish, sneakers. *Shiver!* It gives me the heebie-geebies just thinking about it!

For the record, I do not think Darth Vader is a cool guy. Well, I guess that's not really true. He is a cool guy... black cape, deep voice, strangling people with his mind... all cool things. I just can't condone some of things he's done (you know, like strangling people with his mind). But anyway, there you have it. Psychology students, start your dream analysis engines! And please, try to refrain from the obvious interpretation of, "Sam, you're just a tremendous dork." Because... well, I've gotten to that one on my own, thank-you-very-much.

Comments: 1 | Post a Comment | Permalink

How long have you had these Vader_erotic fantasys?

Comment By TheDarkLordDerfla on September 09, 2006 11:30 AM

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Sam Who!?
Sam is an amazing and humble guy. Once, he rushed into a burning building, up six flights of stairs to save a kitten from certain death. He speaks eight languages, has mastered three varieties of martial arts, is a wine expert, and is a pulitzer prize winning author. Sam is an international heart-throb who prefers a quiet evening at home knitting afghans for the homeless, to the go-go, glitz and glamor of the party scene. I think the day he won the silver medal for ballroom dancing at the 98 olympics was the happiest of his life. Pretty impressive for a guy who never finished the 8th grade. - Carrie, 04
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